When I say naturally, of course we know that death is a natural process, but in this case I mean from old age, suffrage of terminal illness or even passing away in our sleep, although the latter we are not able to express of convey to those around us.
Jim knew his mother’s physical health was deteriorating and she only had a few days left to live, even though she still seemed quite mentally spry. On this particular afternoon as Jim entered her hospital room she excitedly told him that he had just missed seeing his Uncle Jack. She waved toward the door and said if he hurried he might catch him in the hallway! Jim frowned momentarily, “Mom, are you sure it was Jack?” She nodded emphatically and explained that he was at her bedside when she wakened and they’d had a nice chat. She again stated that he had literally just left a second or two before Jim entered and she was surprised they hadn’t run into each other in the hall.
Tom nodded, smiled sympathetically at his mother and said he was sorry he’d missed him. Jack was his uncle and his mother’s brother. Jack had died of a heart attack ten years earlier.
The day before Bob passed he talked constantly to his two brothers and his parents, all who were on the other side. The family surrounding his bed assumed it was the medication he was on, his mind was starting to fade, or perhaps he was just mistaking some of them for family who had already passed.
During Bob’s final moments as his wife sat at his bedside holding his hand, his gaze momentarily shifted slightly away and past her. A small smile briefly crossed his face as he extended his free hand outward as if reaching for or to someone. She turned her head expecting to see someone behind her he might be gesturing to, but no one was there.
As she turned back and smiled down at him his eyes faded. She knew he had taken his last breath and he was gone. She was never able to ask him who he was reaching for, all she knew was that they were welcoming him with open arms.
For many who work in the medical profession, palliative care, or have cared for someone prior to their passing, those two scenarios will probably be eerily familiar.
Many in our scientific and western medical circles rationalize these events as perhaps a shift in mental capacities as the organs and brain begins to shut down in preparation for death. Others point the finger at medication or a pre-death delusional state. Although there have been many recounts of near-death experiences, no one has ever died for a significant enough period of time to return and confirm what or where we actually migrate to once we leave our physical bodies.
The following are steps that we all take, some are obviously quicker than others given the circumstances, yet they still hold true.
Being present at passings and through countless Medium sessions, one statement comes through from the other side consistently, and always from that one person who is nearest and dearest – “My hands will be the first hands outstretched to help you across when you’re ready to pass.”
We fear death, yet it is the physical process we go through leading up to dying that is our true struggle. The act of passing over itself is a simple 3-step procedure.
STEP 1 – Making Connection:
With the exception of a sudden death such as an accident, heart attack, etc. when time is not on our side, our departed loved ones who are waiting for us on the other side make their presence known to us in the days leading up to our passing. They patiently ‘hover’, wait, and watch as our soul prepares to leave our physical body and our physical body wanes.
The scenarios above are just 2 examples of what we may experience in the first step of our transition.
STEP 2 – Stepping Out:
As we’re in those very last moments of living, we literally and lovingly ‘let go’ of our earth-bound family, take the hands of our dearest loved one on the other side, happily step across, and embrace them. Our soul leaves our physical shell moments before our physical body actually dies. We then spiritually wait and watch our body exhale that last breath, which is often referred to as the ‘death rattle’. This is when the warmth of our physical body begins to slowly cool.
(I’m sure many have heard the term ‘giving up the ghost’. The phrase dates back to the 1600’s and means to die. Our era think more in terms of our soul or spirit versus our ghost but they are one and the same).
Many of you may also have heard of people who remain at the bedside of a near-death loved one for countless hours, only to have them pass when they leave for those 3 minutes to run to the bathroom or grab a quick coffee. Feeling guilty and angry at themselves for not being there at the moment of passing, they anguish over letting their loved one die on their own and wonder if they were fearful or called out for them in that final minute or two.
In reality, many intentionally die during those 3 minutes that you’re away because it is too hard for them to let go of you otherwise. They will desperately cling to you and prolong their passing as long as they can if you’re present. Others intentionally wish to die on their own to spare you the memory of their last breath.
We also assume they are going into that ‘white light’ of peace and bliss unaware of our grief and loss. The truth is they also experience the same sense of separation and grieving for us. They are spiritually content within themselves but still struggle knowing they are responsible for our grief, yet no longer able to physically console us.
STEP 3 – Revisiting:
They take their brief interlude to soak in the last of the physical plane and reunite with loved ones on the other side, (as I described in a previous blog), they then return to us spiritually to ‘stand’ with us and energetically comfort us.
Often people will say to me that their loved one ‘felt so close to them’ for the months immediately following their passing, but they don’t ‘feel’ them anymore and are fearful that something has changed; why did they leave and where have they gone?
Don’t worry, they haven’t left! They stand exceptionally close to us in our energy field through those early days in an effort to comfort us and assure themselves that we’re ok. When we reach that point of realization and acceptance that we have to move on with our lives, they can then (spiritually) breath a sigh of relief and step back slightly to the fringe of our energy field. If and when we’re struggling with something in our lives, they will step back in to give us added strength and guidance.
And so the process repeats itself. They stand with us, contentedly waiting and watching until it is their turn to reach their hands out to us and help us across when it is our time to depart from the physical plane. Please don’t panic and worry that our loved ones remain with us ‘in limbo’, feel they have to stay with us or can’t transition and move along. They stay close to us because they can and they choose to – because they love us; or in some cases want to give us a helping hand energetically because they feel they fell short with us while alive.
My Grandmother used to say, “you can’t have all your loved ones with you forever. As you age you’ll enjoy those here on this side and when you pass you get to join those you felt you lost and now have back again.”
It is a beautiful cycle of unconditional love and caring that constantly flows between the physical and spiritual worlds.
Check back for upcoming blogs on reincarnation, versus what a wonderful neighbour of mine used to refer to as ‘the poof theory’ – you live and then ‘poof’ you’re gone, I think my home is haunted, and more.
‘Connecting and understanding spirit, both living and passed’